yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
