that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
