you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Are we still banned from the library?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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