So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
