I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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