wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
