didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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