I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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