Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
