Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
