He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
