Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
