everyone is single if you try hard enough
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
