Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
