she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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