Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
why do cheetos always look like penises
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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