My balls are so social today.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
