Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
