i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
