Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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