She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i dont even know how to be here
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I am naked and annoyed.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
