hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Randomize
