belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Randomize
