READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
