i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
babies were throwing up all over the place
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
