Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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