So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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