its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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