I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You are a genius and a whore.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
