My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
