Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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