nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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