fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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