She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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