At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
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