I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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