at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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