I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
