...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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