you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
