Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
