Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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