I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
