And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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