He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
