real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
