i jhust puked up my retainher.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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