Umm I'm too high to move.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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