mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
