after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
